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Hello, my name is Jason, and it's great to be here with so many fellow Kylie fans.  Anyways, these are two poems I wrote about a woman I once loved.  If anyone has time, I would love feedback.

 Kisses Indicate

I can leave the place where time stops
Just outside reality
I can leave the place where time stops
Material paradise vanishes

Censored screams whispered
They're spectacular with the vernacular of confusion
Kisses indicate the illusion
There's correlations between your lacerations

Watch the sunrise
And fall asleep in your arms
Coffee kisses at sunset
And wake me from my dreams

Censored screams whispered
They're spectacular with the vernacular of confusion
Kisses indicate the illusion
There's correlations between your lacerations

 Dragon Fire Kisses

You re-hydrate my heart
And give me a soul inside
All I ever want is your love

I can look into your eyes
And gaze into a mystical paradise
All I ever want is your love

With lips like the smooth ocean current
Pulling my loneliness out to sea
With kisses like a dragon's fire
Burning away all my depression

All I ever want is your love

Welcome to the forum Jason   Hope you post more and stick around.

Nice poem

One pointer is try rhythm in your poetry.

For example:
Our love is true,
Your lips are pure,
Delicious kiss,
My love to you.

If you notice every line has 4 syllables.  This help creates a rhythm.  You poem is what they call 'free verse' our without rhythm.

Thanks for the feedback.  I truly appreciate it, and I'm always open to constructive criticism.  Also, thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this. 

Cheers,

Jason

These two poems are about reaching paradise and then feeling trapped, when romance fades, and love and lust become conflicting emotions.

1) Kiss the Rattlesnake

The perilous path to paradise
Ominous omens in disguise
I left my soul at sunrise
On the beaches to be sacrificed

Orchestrated oblivion
Choreographed chaos

A ravenous rendezvous
Of insatiable lust
Kiss the rattlesnake
And poison your trust

Orchestrated oblivion
Choreographed chaos

Curiosity is the strongest aphrodisiac
When the mystery is solved
The sweetest ambrosia loses its flavor
And passion slowly withers

2) Atrophy to Ashes

At first we could barely keep our hands off each other
But time is a slow venom
That causes romance to atrophy
Now we can barely stand to touch each other

I live a secret life
Like a fire chief
Who moonlights as an arsonist
Fiery desires replace complacent kisses

You burn in my selfish flames
But refuse to admit we’ve grown apart
Like Siamese twins
Who deny they’ve been separated

As I walk by the charred remains
Of a once vibrant romance
I see you desperately trying
To capture all the scattered ashes
As they blow in the wind

In a moment of clarity
I realize why love and reason
Are enemies

Hi! Nice poem you have there..Thanks for sharing it..Love it..